Diego has demanded some lines for the Lions Times so here goes – irrelevant as the subject may be. In 2001 a Kiwi friend proposed that he and I enter the World Cup Rally – an event reviving the original that was staged in 1970 and then timed to arrive in Mexico City while the Football World Cup was taking place there. This time, however, there was no football link and it was to be for modern small family hatchbacks and classic sports cars – to see how both would manage in tough conditions.
The route was from London to the Sahara and back again via France – Spain – round Morocco – Spain – Portugal – back into Spain – ferry to the UK and returning to the starting point, with about 4 weeks allocated. There were to be close restrictions on permitted modifications to the cars. Two Land Rovers with experienced rally mechanics and tools etc would accompany us.
Normal rally rules applied: detailed "tulip" route books, with accurate directions and mileages provided (and penalties for inexact compliance); departure and arrival times strictly specified for the open road sections; and occasional closed-road competitive sections where the objective was to complete in the fastest time.
After taking the advice of real rally drivers we settled on a red Nissan Micra - which until then had done nothing more demanding than transporting a vicar around his parish. We were assured, however, that although it might be the pensioners' shopping trolley of choice, the Micra was a very robust, reliable and well-handling little car and there had in fact been a rally series exclusively devoted to it. Thus fortified, we delivered it to a proper preparer of rally cars to have all unnecessary internals removed, Recaro racing seats and 4-point seatbelts installed, sump-guard, other underneath protection, 6-ply high profile tyres, and accurate timing equipment fitted, improved air filter, fire protection, chassis-stiffening, freer-flowing exhaust and so forth, and finally fancy decals. We decided to share the driving and navigational duties by doing alternate days.
We assembled at Brooklands as a mixed bunch of contestants – some professional rally drivers in works cars with something to prove, some seasoned club competitors and others complete novices like ourselves. Sir Stirling Moss flagged us away with words of encouragement and the big adventure was on. Having negotiated France with mixed success there was a very long drive through Spain to Malaga. The only memorable aspect of this part of the journey was a terrifying encounter with a group of young Spaniards in hotted-up cars on unofficial hill-climb practice on our route. Several slalomed past us on the way down in exactly the manner I believe Diego is accustomed to getting from A to B.
Once in Malaga we had a couple of days doing special speed sections in the hinterland on what appeared to be goat tracks and wash-outs. We took it relatively easy and got to know the car, not wishing to break it at this relatively early stage and stayed middle-of-the-field. On to Morocco and its impressive French-built roads, over the precipitous passes of the high Atlas Mountains, into the Sahara desert briefly, out to the Atlantic coast, through an intense cloudburst and flood (which represented the first rain in that particular region for 20 years), and back to the ferry for Spain. In Morocco we quickly became uncomfortable with the notion of using the humble environment of very poor people as our playground and tried to treat them with respect. Nevertheless, there was some understandable hostility at times - the sole damage we incurred resulted from running over a barricade of large boulders which local children had placed across the road. Others, however, who travelled too fast through villages, suffered extensive damage from stone-throwing. I must say our sympathies were with the inhabitants. Distributing cheap ballpoint pens did not seem sufficient compensation for the intrusion into their harsh lives.
So it went on until, by the time we reached the beautiful region of Picos de Europa, we had gained a lot of confidence in the Micra's abilities and had worked out how to drive it fast. Here we had our finest hour. In the final two speed sections on long hill climbs on closed sealed roads we achieved the fastest time of all cars on one section and the second-fastest by only a few seconds on the other. The car performed magnificently and did not miss a beat despite being filled with smoke from the tortured brakes and clutch. We beat some very sophisticated and powerful factory-prepared cars in the hands of experienced rally-drivers – some crews had even jettisoned all their luggage to lighten their cars for this last day of competition. So although we did not finish in the top 20 for the rally overall, having been let down by navigational errors at times, we were pleased with our efforts as mere beginners.
The return to the UK by sea gave us time to reflect. It was fun but would we do it again? Probably not. It was a long and tiring time on the road and too long to be away from families and friends. Although we covered a lot of ground, in truth there was no time for sightseeing, let alone enjoying the fascinating countryside we passed through. And in retrospect it was wrong to route the rally through Morocco.
The Lions Expedition is an altogether nobler and more satisfying undertaking!
By Neil Bogle